My mom is severely addicted to the medication “Carisoprodol” aka “Soma.” She has been taking them for about 6 to 7 years now for back pain. My sister and I call them her “drunk pills” because she acts like she is drunk. Anyways, she acts VERY different when she takes them and it is obvious when she does take them. She has droopy eyes, slurred speech, does WEIRD things, can’t walk around very well, falls down, etc. Recently, she received more pills on the 13th and took all 30 pills over 2 days. The directions say take “1 tablet orally 3 times a day as needed,” so I know she is over doing it. She also buys them from a company(which I know is illegal because the drug is prescription only) that gives her 90 pills. She takes these in about a 4 day period. We made an agreement that I would regulate her medicine and keep it in a locked box. Unfortunately, she is hiding them from me now. When she takes them, she says she has taken Benedryl but I know it isn’t true.(it is really obvious when she takes them.)

I feel like she has been tearing our family apart ever since she started taking them. The day after she takes them(and she is normal) I usually break down in tears and tell her she scares me when she takes them. She then tells me she will have me regulate them or stop taking them but she never keeps her word and buys the pills. It is very stressful too because my sister and I have a busy life. My mom has to drive my sis to cheer, both of us to school, catechism class, me to my sports, to get project/lunch stuff, etc. Which means when she takes the pills, it messes up our schedule. Whats worse is that she thinks she is normal and tries to drive when she takes them. This is a very scary experience, as she pulls out in front of cars, almost crashes into poles, parks TERRIBLY, etc.

Today was also very scary. I get out of school at 1:50 pm and she never came to pick me up. I eventually called my grams and she picked me up at 3:00. (she lives 30 mins away) When we got home, she had thrashed the entire house. She threw her purse on the ground and dumped everything out. I went upstairs and she was asleep with her sunglasses on and had chocolate and cookie in her hair and covering her face. Her pills were on the counter spilling out, she took 1/4 of a bottle of aspirin, ate 3 java cookies(well 2 1/2, the other half was in her hair.) She scared me so bad…I thought she OD on them. I knew she had them because she had slurred speech, droopy eyes yesterday and dumped hot grease on the counter.

I am so scared for her and her safety. I am so scared to leave her alone and go to school because I think she might OD or do something dangerous and I won’t be there to help her. She is a single mom, so I don’t have my dad to help me(I haven’t talked to my dad due to his violent behaviors towards me, my sister, and my mom. I am 14 and a freshman. I am in an Honors core and I am trying to focus on my schoolwork but it’s so hard when you have to take care of a mom(who at this point, gets into as much trouble as a 2 year old) and a little sister. I have to clean, cook, do homework, help sis with homework, take care of my pets, etc.(basically everything my mom does normally) because she is always on these horrible pills. I feel like I have no one to turn to because I am the oldest. I pray all the time to God and ask him to give me someone that can help me and make me feel better when I am frustrated or sad due to these pills and to help me make it to College so I can get a good education and get away from the stress. I have also vowed to never do something like this to my kids when I have them(later of course.)

At this point I hate my mom for doing this and I am scared for her safety. I really don’t know what to do to stop her from taking these pills. I have done everything in my power to make her stop these pills but she won’t listen. We can’t afford rehab and I feel so tired of this. So basically, what should I do now? I have not told anyone that she takes the pills. She has told me not to tell anyone. Should I tell my Grandma anyways? I feel like she is the only one I can depend on now besides my sister. I really need help with my mom. Any advice would be helpful.

Thanks for your time(I know this was a long question) and God Bless.
Candice

Chosen Answer:

wow that is so scary and sad, i am sorry for you and your sister. yes talk to your grandmother and also try and find out if there are any al-anon meetings you can attend. you are such a wonderful daughter, and you cant go wrong being that way…next time she is bonkers, take a picture of her…let her see these when she is sober…there are rehabs out there for folks who don’t have money or insurance and it is better than going to jail…good luck my dear, and remember to be strong for your little sister too…she could go down that road but you are giving her a chance by being a great example…also your mom might not be on the right medications or have a proper diagnosis and is self medicating and doing the best she can for an improper medical treatment…i am sure she doesn’t want to be this way…all of you need help in some way or another…prayer works too…
by: pennylane
on: 22nd January 09